Get It Going/”Feeling”

With advice from friends, self-help books, therapists, and religion, I’ve humbled myself to blurt some thoughts out on a blog. Blogs feel outdated to me…because they started catching fire a decade ago when I was in college. But after beginning “Morning Pages” (from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way), I figured I’d give it a go. After all, I’m not intentionally trying to hurt anyone by my positions or feelings…I just realize I have to start somewhere if I want to move into a healthier way of seeing.

I’ve been afraid of feelings for years. They offend, reveal, confine, or expose. Most of the people I’ve expressed honest feelings to have fallen away (usually quietly) or have harshly judged me. This reinforced my belief that feelings are bad. However, with the help of the Enneagram, I learned that my personality experiences the world by feeling, and feeling other people’s feelings. What a beautiful gift…

The struggle is that feelings aren’t compliant.

If I’ve learned anything up to now, it’s that I must reign in my feelings because “feelings aren’t reality.” Or, at least thats what I’ve been taught. This unfortunate cop-out is promoted by people who find feelings to be too painful, or see them as distractions from their goals of success and imperial reigning.

Oh no,…don’t you feel sorry for me. Look inward. I presume you’ve dealt with this yourself – maybe without even realizing it.

I’ve committed to a life of following my feelings. Why? Because they are one of several guides that open us to greater understanding, compassion, and enlightenment. We all have strengths and weaknesses, which can play against us or for us. Learning to navigate your identity is a lifelong acceptance of what you contain within. Grow to love what you’ve been given. Shake the shame that you aren’t like the person whose life you envy. We only envy pieces of people, not the whole, for we never know what’s hidden in the minds of others. Begin by loving pieces of yourself. Piece by piece, you will begin to understand the beauty of who you are, as well as the purpose that celebrates what makes you unique, undefinable, and mosaically brilliant.

With each piece, store up gratitude – it will help you in your process of finding and loving the next piece. As you behold the flow of your gratitude and identity in partnership, you’ll notice your feelings won’t sound as harsh when you share them. Why? Because we are unusually harsh with others when we are incredibly harsh with ourselves. Love you, then discover your love for them.

-k

The Enneagram is an ancient body of wisdom that identifies nine core personality types and describes how each sees and interacts with the world. My favorite Enneagram sources are this & this.