Awareness

The practice of self-awareness is something we associate with “zen,” and “meditation,” or many other eastern spirituality practices. If you’re Christian, or identify separately as a Jesus-follower, you might be familiar with self-awareness in the way that you challenge yourself to “live more like Jesus.” Remember “WWJD?” That’s a perfect example of Westernized religious self-awareness in practice. Ah yes…the bracelets… Unfortunately, with the bracelets, we were encouraged to set our minds aside and act in the way Jesus would. The beauty of awareness is in the union of spirit and humanity. We can’t forsake our minds and perform in the likeness of another and expect union; that is pretending – even if the motive is pure. Awareness helps us to embody the nature of Jesus by accessing the deeper parts of the spirit hidden beneath our humanity. Here we become.

My New Years resolution for 2017 was to increase my self-awareness and self-discipline. I’m doing “eehhhh” with the discipline part, and as for awareness….I consider myself an over-achiever. I’m slaying it in awareness. Killing it. Nailing it. Crushing it. ….and, unexpectedly, it’s crushing me. I could’ve never imagined that it’d reveal as much as it did. I’ve become hyper-sensitive to my motives, behaviors, social interactions, etc. And, already being an intuitive person, I seemed to have become over-sensitized to my own thoughts and behaviors, as well as the thoughts and behaviors of others. Everything is exposed. I’m an open book, so for me to feel exposed (by my own self) is a bit surprising.

I have never heard of awareness bringing anxiety, but it certainly has for me – for now. This realization made me see why people are resistant to it. We go about our busy lives, comfortable where we are, or climbing social and economic ladders to feel successful….completely avoiding T I M E. Time confronts us. It removes our blinders. In our “boredom,” our flaws are revealed. In the lull, we see the fullness of the waves.

So, do you avoid awareness, or do you avoid the pause?

Practicing awareness is a beautiful journey of exposing the savage within and discovering your center (inner peace, rest, balance). I believe that the light/love beneath my humanity is the purest access point to my union with Spirit. It’s a bumpy ride to get there, but I know it’s worth the wrestle.

In your becoming, I hope you take time to pause and invite pain and joy to your table. Allow them both to speak and, at times, make them listen to the other. You wouldn’t know joy if you didn’t know pain, and you wouldn’t be so troubled by pain if you hadn’t felt the heights of joy. They are gentle at heart and go a bit wild when confined. It will be a lovely time.

-k